A friend’s suicide. Another’s illness. Loneliness, fear, anger. Those crazy Trumpers still trying to reverse the election. The Buddhists say life is suffering, and sometimes that’s all it seems to be. It hurts to be born, it hurts to die, and a lot of the stuff in between isn’t much fun either.

But look up. The sky is always changing and always beautiful. Every day begins and ends in beauty, the darkness hemmed with birdsong and magnificent color. Life is not only suffering. Where there is beauty, joy is possible too.

It helps to have trees or running water to look at, but people are also beautiful. Okay, not Mitch McConnell, but look at the people you love. Or just think of them, if you can’t be near them. Their beauty has nothing to do with the arrangement of features on their faces, or the shape of their bodies. They’re beautiful because of their kindness, their humor, their stubborn strength, the history you share, the things they know because of the suffering they have endured.

And now we’re missing them. Most Americans took a lot for granted before the pandemic hit. All of us are grieving for so much we never expected to lose. Who knew we would long for the crush of a crowd? Who knew we needed hugs so badly?

I believe that in the rubble of our old lives, our pre-COVID lives, some seeds are sprouting. America is changing. We ignored the epidemic of ignorance but now we can’t. It’s killing too many of us. White people ignored racism, but camera phones and Black Lives Matter made that impossible. We did nothing about income inequality, but now tens of millions are on the verge of homelessness and hunger. Many of us ignored politics altogether, as though it had nothing to do with our lives. Now we know better.

One thing we have learned from our communal suffering is how many people are helping us get through it. Maybe our appreciation for “essential workers” won’t last. Let’s hope it does: a little more respect can go a long way. That chain of people from field workers to truck drivers to grocery clerks who bring us our food is a beautiful thing. We could honor it by paying them all a living wage.

America was founded on slavery, theft, and genocide. Unfettered capitalism continues to make people behave badly. But democracy is another beautiful thing: we can share the wealth and take better care of one another if we choose to do so.

The only good thing about suffering is that it can teach people compassion. 2021 will show if America has learned that lesson.

Meanwhile, find something beautiful to look at or listen to. Find some way to help somebody. Remember that life is more than suffering, if there is love in it.