How are you? Fine? Really? I don’t believe it. Nobody’s fine right now.

I wanted to communicate some good news today, but I couldn’t find any. Some things do give me hope for the long term. Short-term, with Trump doing all the harm he can, the world ignoring climate change, and the virus running rampant through the US, I got nothin’.

It’s not my personal situation. I’m way luckier than most Americans: so far, so good. I just get panic attacks several times a week and fight depression every day. But money is no more of a problem than usual and nobody I love is sick. We’re all just having panic attacks and fighting depression.

If a household didn’t depend on my health, I’d have been in the street with Black Lives Matter for a month. There is joy and uplift in a crowd like that, gathered for a righteous purpose and determined to be peaceful in spite of the worst police can do. There is community, creativity, relief in taking action together. I’m very grateful to all those who do show up, and a little envious. I miss that feeling.

I miss a lot of things, a lot of people. I’ve been missing peace of mind since the 2016 presidential election. None of my friends has slept well since then. Now it’s hard to escape the feeling of nightmare while we’re wide awake.

So how do we get back to feeling okay? Counting blessings helps; so does counting breaths, and slowing them down when we’re anxious. Communicating with people we love. Being in nature, which remains beautiful. Making things, whether it’s music or masks or gardens.

What helps me most is remembering that the real problem is not individual people but the culture we have created. And culture changes all the time. We each change it, with every word and act, everything we buy or avoid buying, our tones of voice and our body language, even what we click and like on social media.

What becomes of humanity is up to humans. We can move toward destruction, or we can move toward sustainability and loving-kindness. We know what we must do. I believe we might yet even do it.