Sometimes imagination is not so much fun. As part of my new anti-terror routine, I’m trying to notice when my own thoughts make my heart race and my mood drop. It’s kind of amazing how much fantasy my stupid imagination can come up with, and how quickly. Of course, these days, it’s always a Stephen King-type fantasy. I guess evolution prods us to imagine the worst. Not helpful in the current situation though.

I think of this tendency as story-boarding, what you do when you’re writing a movie: no dialogue, just images and general plot. The plot is always X (myself or loved one) gets sick or dies, unless it’s X, Y, and Z getting sick and dying. Such vivid scenes! So much emotional response, in the space of a few breaths! At times like this I totally hate having an imagination. These are movies I don’t want to watch.

We’re all missing friends and family, we’re all scared of this huge change in our lives. Story-boarding can make a difficult situation much worse. I’m learning to put the brakes on as soon as I realize I’m scaring myself. When I manage to be fully conscious of them, these ugly fantasies evaporate.

Evolution, schmevolution. If I need to be scared to survive, I can always watch the news.